To my Opinion
To my Opinion,
I held you in highest regards for a very long time. I believed in you, toted you about and boasted about your brilliance. You were so beautiful, so majestic, so high!—I was in love with you, yes, and I wanted everyone to know. But some didn’t care, or worse, grew tired of me speaking of you. Damn them then! It would just be me and you.
I feared losing you, protected you in the face of dissent. I went to war for you, defended your ideals, battled against my loved ones for your life, became willing even to die for you—laid to rest with you cradled in my arms, a smug look on your face, a bitter grimace upon mine. There was nothing I wouldn’t do for you. You were one of the most important things.
I cherished you, once dearest Opinion, because I believed without you I was nothing. Those things I felt myself lacking, a torrent of promises you poured into my ear. You threw me scraps of happiness such as the occasional agreement of others… only that wouldn’t last, and again I fell at your feet. And again and again. You told me I was good. You told me I was bad. Until I crawled alone on the floor with my nose turned up at the world, until even the world wasn’t worth my time.
So I’m writing you now to say I am sorry, my Opinion, but I wish for you to leave. Please take your things and go. Because I’ve lost faith in you. You lied to me, you changed everyday, and I cannot trust you anymore. tweet
So I’m writing you now to say I am sorry, my Opinion, but I wish for you to leave. Please take your things and go. Because I’ve lost faith in you. You lied to me, you changed everyday, and I cannot trust you anymore. You hurt me even when I gave you so much. You kept me from loving others, you kept me from growing. I suffered your presence in so many ways.
Perhaps you’ll laugh and say, What will you be without me? I don’t know. I admit to my fear even now as you turn to leave. But I hope for freedom, that without you around there will be peace and a greater power will rise from which wise decisions might be made. Without you leading me through fogs, might I see more potentialities when the world asks my aid. Might there be so much more energy without your weight! The frustrations of you tired me, even kept me from sleep. Oh, my Opinion, may I realize my perfections when you disappear. May effortless and gentle and loving and content. May I remember the beauty of those things I’d thought lost, and hear more clearly the pretty sounds of it all.
So goodbye to you. I won’t throw stones at your back, won’t even keep a bad opinion of you (so cunning you are)–but be off or off with my head! Go back down the little styrofoam trail from whence you came, made of nothing but air, and I will not miss you. Beware! Do not return, don’t try a disguise, because once recognized I’ll shoot you dead and throw you into the abyss. Don’t expect another sweet letter.
Oh, my Opinion, may I realize my perfections when you disappear. May effortless and gentle and loving and content. May I remember the beauty of those things I’d thought lost, and hear more clearly the pretty sounds of it all. tweet
How will I know you’re gone? When the thought of doing nothing, saying nothing, and admitting my powerlessness doesn’t disturb me. When others’ beloved Opinions come knocking and I’m happy to sit and serve tea, or say “No thank you” and close the door with a wave like a cute little granny would give. When my walk is deep conviction and my steps inspire others and change happens without being made. When not even intention is needed, because it just is.