TTK No. 41

Looking through the keyhole at my tiny experience, I can see how sometimes I presented myself falsely, though I didn’t mean to. Sometimes I said, ‘My peace is not dependent on the outside world,’ while being involved in some desperate attempt to attain something outside myself. Other times I said, ‘The only way I’ve found inner silence is to sit in silence,’ while living in distraction and never taking even a minute to sit with myself. I did not practice what I preached. I felt a fraud and hypocrite. Something did not sit correctly. My expression seemed ajar from my truth. Still, even concerning this, I see now how I had to express myself falsely and witness that falseness, before I could more clearly see my truth. Again I am reminded all roads lead here… There are moments in this life when time seems to pause and the space vibrates between me and you, and there is no more imagination, and all is alive and real and pure. I feel on the verge of crying, and I see the tears forming in your eyes too. A soft place, yet so strong. This is a rare thing. Yet it felt effortless, and only covered by a thin layer of my own disguises.